Emily Blunt in Oscar de la Renta

Emma Stone in McQueen

Michelle Williams in Valentino

Viola Davis in Marchesa

Stacy Keibler in Marchesa

I love her because she is SMART. And I love her because she celebrates other women, rather than demeaning and belittling anyone who makes her feel threatened.

And I love her because she said this.

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” ― Lady Gaga

Yes, you can have the best of both worlds.

But sometimes, you choose to focus on something like running a marathon, getting a Ph.D., becoming a licensed yoga teacher, having a full time job, and writing a book. All at the same time. And you’re HAPPY. And you don’t need a man to make you happy. Your dreams are so big and so important to you that you’re ok that you’re 28 and single, even if people who are not you judge your life based on your lack of a relationship and automatically assume you can’t possibly be happy.

And now… the arrivals.

• Ricky Gervais in some ugly maroon suit. If anyone else tried this look, I would be really grossed out, but it works for RG. He, unlike the rest of Hollywood, knows better than to take himself too seriously. I hope the rest of the audience realizes that tonight, rather than getting their panties in a bunch.
• George Clooney and Stacy Keibler - rather than playing the role of the trophy girlfriend, Stacy is in a fairly plain red dress. That said, it offsets her blonde locks really nicely, and she is clearly glowing (and who wouldn’t be? She’s dating GEORGE CLOONEY, y’all).
• I was really hoping Kelly Osborne would change up the hair color before an event of this magnitude, but the hideous purply gray is still there. I didn’t even notice her dress because of the cringing that her hair caused.
• Sarah Hyland (in Vintage Dolce & Gabbana) almost always wears this blush color, but she is also almost always one of the best dressed on the carpet, as far as I’m concerned. I can’t complain about this choice at all. I love the lace belt around the waist and the fit of the dress could not be better. Plus, she will ALWAYS win points for her amazing Lea Michele impression.
• I’m happy to see her Modern Family sister, Ariel Winter (in Dolce and Gabbana) wearing something age appropriate, unlike her Emmy’s ensemble. This eggplant color is beautiful on her, and although she certainly looks older than her 14 years, she doesn’t look as hoochie as she did at the last awards show.
• Adam Levine in Tom Ford looks awesome, but I’d much prefer this look from him.
• Melissa McCarthy in Badgley Mischka does not live up to her beautiful Emmy’s look. I do love the neckline embellishments and the fact that it fits her body well, but I wish she’d do something other than the long sleeves look (see: Octavia Spencer). Also not a big fan of the hair. She should’ve pulled it back to better highlight the neckline, which is the true star of this look.
• Diane Lane in Reem Acra could make an absolute fortune if she’d just tell everyone where she found the fountain of youth. She looks amazing in gold. She looks like she’s about 28 years old, and I officially want to be her.
• Jessica Chastain in Givenchy is STUNNING. I am 100% always a fan of Givenchy, and this shows why. I wish her hair was a bit more put together, but the earrings work gorgeously with the dress. Big points, Celia Foote!
• Nicole Richie in Julian MacDonald. 1) Why is she there? 2) She is one of my favorite fashionistas out there, so I am loving this look and glad that she IS there, even if I don’t know why.
• Shailene Woodley in Marchesa looks beautiful, and may end up being one of my favorites of the night. I wasn’t sure about this look until she showed the back. That did it for me. I’m not typically a lavender person at all, but this dress fits her impeccably and she looks so fresh and age appropriate. I love her hair and the fact that they went with no statement jewelry. LOVE. Marchesa continues to put out some of my favorite looks the red carpet has ever seen.
• Claire Danes in J. Mendel looks phenomenal. If Claire doesn’t win an award tonight, I will be floored. But her J. Mendel dress made her a winner already. Loving this black and white look and the fact that it’s not the same silhouette we typically see on the carpet. Love the sleeves, love the waistband, and if she is not the best dressed woman tonight, it’ll be because Angelina absolutely turned it out.
• Sarah Michelle Gellar in Monique L’Huillier let her two year old pick her dress. Clearly. No comment.
• Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji is wearing lavender as well, which appears to be one of the most popular colors of the night. This is how a plus-sized girl does the Globes. She looks elegant and this color is beautiful on her.
• Freida Pinto in Prada should wear this teal color often. Her skin tone looks beautiful in it. The silhouette does not do her figure the justice it deserves, but I very much enjoy the color. Her hair looks very youthful and fresh. Gorgeous!
• Sophia Vergara in Vera Wang is wearing a similar silhouette to what we always see from her, but she’s also wearing another popular color of the night in this beautiful teal. I wish we could see something unexpected from her, but she always looks fantastic regardless.
• Julie Bowen in Reem Acra would look amazing with a few minor tweaks. I’m not crazy about the sleeves and the hair, but the blush color is amazing on her and I love the skirt.
• Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci is another of my favorites of the night. She HAD to wear black, in my opinion. This dress looks like something Lisbeth would wear if forced into something glamorous. I love the neckline and thought her hair was perfect for her. I know that a lot of people are going to hate on her for wearing a ponytail, but it worked for me.
• I love Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I think our puppies should have play dates.
• I don’t like it when Bryan Cranston has hair. It just looks wrong. Walter White Style FTW.
• Jane Lynch in David Meister looks better than she ever has. This is the first time that she’s worn a silhouette that doesn’t add about 20 pounds to her frame. Good job, Sue Sylvester. Good job.
• Zooey Deschanel in Prada looks amazing. This is such an improvement over her bubble gum pink ball gown last year. This is so different for her and I couldn’t love it more. She looks 60s chic, with her dress, hair, and makeup. Love.
• Brangie has arrived. I cannot wait to see more of this dress, which is now my favorite.
• Paula Patton in Monique L’Huillier is rocking this yellow mermaid dress. I wouldn’t ever attempt this color, but it works for her for sure.
• If I could change bodies with anyone, it would be Naya Rivera. Flaw.less.
• Charlize Theron in Dior Couture. Perfection. I hate her. The slit, the bow, her skin, her hair, the color, her makeup. Everthing is perfection.
• Salma Hayek in Pucci. I feel like this is a pretty standard look for Salma, but still gorgeous. I also feel like this is something that a Kardashian would wear. So there’s that.
• Angelina Jolie in Versace is the best dressed of the night, bar none. No contest. Game over. The absolute only thing I’d change is the lipstick color. A nude or light color would’ve been better, but she still looked incredible.
• Michelle Williams in Jason Wu looks adorable as always. She never really looks stunning, she just looks cute. I feel like this headband, boat neck look is one that she does pretty regularly, but she still looks great.
• Mila Kunis in Christian Dior - love this look. I much prefer to see Mila in these dark colors, rather than the lavender that she wore last year.
• Kate Beckinsale in Roberto Cavalli looks beautiful in blush. Nothing spectacular about the dress, but Kate is incapable of looking amazing.
• Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen looks like a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills in training. Let down. The dress is not red carpet enough for me, but the hair is the real crime. She should look to Jessica Biel for the proper way to do bed head on the red carpet tonight.
• Dianna Agron in Giles is one of my favorites on the red carpet at every event and she did not disappoint today. This is one of the most unique looks on the carpet tonight and is one that I almost wish they would have saved for Jennifer Lawrence. It’s very Katnissy.
• Lea Michele in Marchesa looks like she may have had the same stylist as her Glee costar Dianna, but this look didn’t work quite as well to me as Dianna’s. I loved the gunmetal color on her, but this is unfortunately a little too figure skater-like and my least favorite Marchesa look of the night.
• Emma Stone in Lanvin is wearing a really unique color tonight, but I’m really not loving the two tone. The silhouette is amazing, but if it was the burgundy only, without the fuschia, it would have been one of my favorites tonight.
• Madonna in Reem Acra is probably my least favorite look of the night. Reem Acra dressed a lot of stars on this carpet, but I haven’t been a huge fan. If the dress fit her up top a bit better, I would have liked it a bit more, but IMO, everything is wrong about this dress.
• Jenna Dewan in Maria Lucia Hohan looked amazing in this color, but the star of her look is definitely her earrings. WANT!
• Elle MacPherson in Zac Posen is drinking from the same fountain as Diane Lane. Her body is incredible and this dress looks stellar on her. It’s not one I’d like on many people, because it has the ability to make someone look pretty short, but I don’t think she could look better. This redeems Zac Posen for the Reese Witherspoon look we saw earlier tonight.
• Jessica Alba in Gucci is looking gorgeous in a lavender/mauve color. This color plays off of her olive skin tone beautifully.

Best dressed of the night:

10) Jessica Biel
9) Natalie Portman
8) Shailene Woodley
7) Freida Pinto
6) Naya Rivera
5) Charlize Theron
4) Rooney Mara
3) Dianna Agron
2) Claire Danes
1) Angelina Jolie

Ricky Gervais toned the monologue down a LOT this year. Still funny, but far less scandalous.

Johnny Depp! Hold please while I go help my roommate catch her breath.

surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.

If your long-time faux friend knocks you down? Your family member? Your next door neighbor? Your boss?

In the words of the Herb Brooks kid, Screw ‘em.

You only have one life.

Why live it surrounded by people who don’t recognize how amazing you are? Who don’t celebrate your ups and have your back when you’re down?

Why surround yourself with people who are so unhappy with their own lives that they want bad things to happen to others to make them feel better?

Yes, it’s not always possible to get away from people and situations that bring you down. But if you can, do it without looking back.

If people try to make you feel bad about removing those negative influences from your life? Herb Brooks Kid time.

Purge the crap from your life like you’re Pam Beesly kicking Roy out the door. You never know when you’re going to turn a corner and find a metaphorical Jim Halpert.

What I’m looking for is 1) justification of my fears, 2) sympathy that I have to live every day in a fit of obviously justified terror, and 3) less judginess (my word, not yours, copyrighted now). I’m going to lay out my most irrational fears as determined by the judgmental looks I have received throughout my life. I guarantee that I can find one person for each of these fears who understands where I’m coming from.

Nicollet Mall pigeons. I’m sorry, but those bastards SWOOP. Do you want to know who is always in direct vicinity of their swooping? This girl. Also, when I was 6, my dad didn’t believe me when I told him I got attacked by a blue jay in the backyard. Why? I choose to believe that it was because he was watching the Poseidon Adventure. So there you go… it’s the movie’s fault. Also, he thinks I made this story up because he has no recollection. And everyone thinks the blue jay was actually a robin. So let’s broaden this category to “all birds or flying creatures.” Also, people always think it’s funny to tell me when “The Birds” is on TV. Guess what, assholes? It’s not funny.

Getting food poisoning in public. When I have meetings to attend, I skip the meal prior. Why? Because I have an irrational fear of throwing up in front of people–or even worse, ON them. I know some people have a fear of throwing up, but that’s not my issue. My issue is that someday I’ll eat something and be sitting in a meeting with a client or a rep and suddenly throw up all over them. Sometimes I imagine this while in the meeting. Other times (ok, all times), I am terrified that it’s going to happen even if I have avoided food all day. Listen, I know I’m not going to get food poisoning from a Saltine, but I can’t even bring myself to eat that. You just never know. Seriously.

The intruder fear. This one, in its conception, is not that irrational. I don’t think it’s that weird, given my history, that I have a fear of an intruder and/or violent crime. That being said, I think it’s a little bit irrational that I check all nooks and crannies over 2 feet in size to make sure there’s no Boogeyman in them before bed every night. How do YOU know that the scary man stalking my Edina neighborhood isn’t going to hide in a Rubbermaid bucket full of hangers in my laundry room? See. You don’t.

Onions. If you tell your server at a restaurant that you have an irrational fear of onions that makes you cry and convulse, they’re less likely to put those ickies on your lunch. So yeah, I’m GD terrified of onions.

Centipedes. I’m sorry, but you can see the EVIL IN THEIR FACES. When I see one of those things, with its evil legs, evil eyes, and evil intentions, it makes me want to cry. In order to be able to sleep at night, I have to squish it with a shoe, wrap it in at least 3 Kleenexes, throw it in the toilet, spray Lysol on it, flush, shut the lid, shut my bathroom door, and put a blanket in front of the bottom of the door. This is so that, on the off chance that it survives the squish, crawls out of the Kleenex, swims back up my toilet, lives through being sprayed with Lysol, opens the lid, and crawls out, it can’t get into my bed while I sleep.

Bridges. Before that whole 35W bridge thing ever happened, I had a horrible fear of bridges. Certain bridges (I’m looking at you, Lafayette) are significantly worse than others. Every time I drive across one, I imagine my car being caught by a gust of wind and thrown over the side. Then things LIKE THIS happen and I realize my fear is 100% justified and all of you jerks and your judging can stfu. Also, sometimes I want to drive across them with my eyes closed. Because THAT, for some reason, feels safer than seeing what lies beneath.

Falling off the side of a mountain in a car. If anyone expects me to actually believe that those 1 foot high barriers are going to stop a 2000+ pound vehicle from plunging to its death with me inside because the driver thought something looked pretty and looked with the steering wheel, they’re taking crazy pills. Sorry I’m not sorry for being afraid of plummeting to my death and having to think about it the whole. way. down. How are you all NOT afraid of this? So what if I live in Minnesota and we have no mountains.

Drowning in a car. Sorry, but I don’t walk around with my own personal Horatio Caine in my pocket. Do you know what that means? That means when I figure out an international murder mystery one second too late and the killer puts me in a trunk and rolls it off of a dock, I’m a goner.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog post: Who wants to sell me their Xanax?

Yep, I know. Deep.

Today, my product spotlight is my old faithful, favorite ever beauty product. I’m sure at some point or another, I’ve mentioned this one on here. That being said, it is my FAVORITE EVER BEAUTY PRODUCT. So if I want to highlight it 87 times, that’s what I’m-a-gonna-do.

Humble brag here for a minute… if there was ONE thing I was blessed with physically in life, it was some pretty kick-a eyelashes. They’re dark, long, pretty, and full (and NO, this sentence was not a euphemism). That being said, I’ve never taken finding the perfect mascara all that seriously. I wear it every day, but I don’t go searching out the best elongating, lash-plumping/darkening product in existence.

But I found it anyway.

My user review of DiorShow mascara is that it’s pretty much the best mascara in the world. If you can stomach $24 for mascara (especially if you’re like me and are used to buying the pink-and-green Maybelline), this is as good as it gets. It does its job in just one coat and I have never once felt the need to reapply. As a person who typically wears nothing in terms of makeup other than mascara, a tiny bit of bronzer, and clear lip gloss, this was a find that makes me feel like I’m doing more for myself than I actually am.

Sorry pink-and-green Maybelline. This girl’s a Dior convert for life.

50. Revlon Colorburst lip gloss in Peony

49. Dior Vernis nail polish in Metallic Silver

48. Tosca Reno’s Eat Clean Diet

47. Moroccan Oil

46. Adele – 21

45. Once Upon a Time

44. Everything Zooey Deschanel does (specifically The New Girl and www.HelloGiggles.com)

43. Kettlebell squats

42. Kiehl’s lip balm

41. OPI nail polish in I’m Not Really a Waitress (going old school here, but it’s so Christmas-y!)

40. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

39. Emma Stone

38. Clarins Paris Vital Light Serum

37. Homeland

36. Frederic Fekkai full blown volume styling whip

35. Hive & Honey woven silver cuff

34. Rimmel lasting finish lipstick #14

33. Marathon afternoons of watching Oz on DVD

32. Origins Plantscription

31. Garmin Forerunner 610 GPS watch

30. Olay Regenerist micro-sculpting cream

29. www.yogafit.com

28. Party Rock Anthem – LMFAO

27. The Happiness Diet by Tyler Graham and Drew Ramsey

26. EOS lip balm

25. Jamba Juice’s Strawberries Alive smoothie

24. Nars bronzer in Laguna

23. Restoration Hardware Madison Distressed Convex Mirror

22. Neutrogena Moisture Shine lip gloss in healthy peach

21. Organize for a Fresh Start by Susan Fay West

20. Smashbox Primer

19. Crate and Barrel Katagami Mulberry Leaf Print

18. Laura Mercier flawless skin mega moisturizer

17. Conde Nast Traveler magazine

16. Moroccan Oil intense hydrating mask

15. Lululemon Back on Track Jacket

14. Urban Decay Naked2 eyeshadow

13. Tory Burch Colleen Platform boot

12. Moroccan Oil weightless hydrating mask

11. Breaking Bad

10. Marathon: The Ultimate Training Guide by Hal Higdon

9. Bobby Brown cleansing oil

8. My new Brooks Ghost 4 running shoes

7. Bridesmaids

6. Ryan Gosling

5. Cirque de Soleil Ka

4. This One’s for Big E

3. The Venetian Hotel Las Vegas

2. Circo (Las Vegas – restaurant at the Bellagio) ricotta gnocchi with wild mushrooms & arugula

1. Border Grill Las Vegas’ beer battered fish tacos with avocado crema